Swinger Hookup

The swinger lifestyle is gaining more and more popularity in recent years. Swinging is a sexual lifestyle centered around non-monogamy. Swinging can involve activities such as partner swapping and group sex. Some swinger communities throw swinger parties or go to swingers clubs where like-minded individuals come to play.

What is swinging?

While this may sound similar to an open relationship, the two aren't exactly the same. Swinging is a couple-oriented lifestyle meaning that while each partner may engage in sexual activity with other people, often times both partners are present and participating.

Swinging also isn't considered a form of cheating. It's vital that both partners want to be a part of the lifestyle. Everyone has knowledge of and consents to what's happening.

Swingers have the misconception of being sexually unsatisfied in their own relationships, but quite the opposite is true. Most couples who engage in the lifestyle are more secure in their relationship. After all, the swing lifestyle is not ideal for every couple and requires an enormous amount of trust in your partner.

In the end, swinging can deepen the bond between you and your partner, all the while opening up the opportunity for new and exciting sexual experiences.

Why do people swing?

There are tons of different reasons that couples introduce themselves to the swing lifestyle. The important thing that I will continue to reiterate is that no matter the reason that couples decide to swing, consent should be enthusiastically given by both partners.

Some swinger couples enjoy the lifestyle because they want to experience casual sex outside of the relationship. Sex and love go hand-in-hand, but don't equate to the same thing. Couples that go to swingers parties to have sex with other couples are doing it for just that: sex.

Other couples join the lifestyle because they want to get into the kink lifestyle or are part of the kink community. Some people get sexual gratification by watching their partner with other people. Swinging allows them to live out their fantasy in an environment with clear boundaries in place if someone decides they need to stop.

Sometimes couples don't want to live a monogamous lifestyle just because it's something that they're not into. Some individuals may love their partners, but don't want to be sleeping with only one person for an extended time period. Swinging then gives everyone the ability to fulfill their sexual needs while still maintaining a healthy relationship.

How do I know if swinging is for me?

Most people grew up only exposed to monogamous relationships, and this creates a stigma around alternative relationships that paint them as scandalous and dirty. The lifestyle has become more accepted and acknowledged in recent years, leading a lot of people to wonder if swinging might a good lifestyle for them.

Swinging is the ideal lifestyle for those that fantasize about sex outside of the relationship in regards to both themselves and their partner. If this is an interest of yours, it might be worth looking into.

Swinging requires trust and communication from both parties. Couples that get into the swinging scene need to have fantastic communication skills and above all, complete trust in their partner. This includes the ability to resolve any issues or hurt feelings that might arise.

Swinging is also a great idea for people that tend to separate love and sex. It's not a good idea for couples or individuals that view sex as a form of intimacy just for themselves, as it's definitely not for anyone who might experience jealousy or trust issues.

Generally, people that are part of the swinger community are open minded and sexually adventurous. If this sounds like you, swinging might be a good idea!

What does a healthy swinging relationship look like?

Swinging can be a healthy way to put some excitement into your relationship. It also has the potential to completely break trust and destroy a relationship. Below are some tips that can keep your relationship healthy and exciting!

Communication is absolute key. Swinging should never be a surprise to a party in the relationship. Everything should be discussed beforehand, and expectations for each partner should be laid out before ANY of the swinging has started. Neither partner in the couple has the power to make decisions for each other, either. A no from one partner should mean no for the other partner as well.

It's important to not get too excited either, and immediately jump into going to a swinger club or participating in group sex. If you and your partner have already set your boundaries and expectations and are wanting to start, make sure to take it slow. You may discover that this lifestyle isn't for you, and that's okay. Starting off with baby steps lets you slowly introduce yourself into the lifestyle, making it less overwhelming.

Always respect your partner's boundaries. When one partner crosses a set expectation, it stops being swinging and starts crossing into cheating territory. Disrespecting boundaries can hurt feelings at best and completely destroy relationships at worst, neither being desirable outcomes.

Swinging vs open relationship

Swinging and an open relationship, while both forms of non-monogamy, are completely separate lifestyles. Some of these relationships are couples that swing, while others aren't. Either way, in both cases either one or both parties in the relationship are looking for new partners to engage with.

Swinging involves a shared experience for both parties. Usually, swingers don't go to events and parties without their other half. Both partners regularly communicating about their experiences is part of the lifestyle. Swinging is strictly sexual, and usually involves no strings attached with other people.

On the other hand, open relationships are a lot more loose in terms of who has sex with who. Partners often engage with new sexual conquests separately, and don't ask or talk about their partner's experiences. This isn't always the case, as some partners in open relationships do enjoy watching their significant other with another person. Open relationships don't have to involve sex either. Some couples in open relationships are looking for new romantic partners, not just sexual ones.

In both cases, a successful non monogamous relationship involves constant communication and respect for the other person's boundaries. Both can be a great experience for the couple or can cause the death of a relationship if swinging is explored without the other half's consent.

How to find other swingers

Technology makes connecting with other like-minded swingers much easier. There are swinger dating apps, social media forums, and resources to find swinger events near you thanks to niche local journalism.

Swinger apps are one of the most popular ways for couples to find new playmates. Online dating has become almost a norm in the era of smartphones and online chatting. Apps are usually more user-friendly, and can help you find partners for multiple fetishes depending on what you're into. Some dating apps offer premium subscriptions, kind of like Tinder Gold, making it easier to gain the attention of potential partners. Generally, a swinger app is the easiest way for smartphone users to discreetly search for new friends, just make sure to turn notifications off to minimize the chances of any mishaps around friends and family.

Social media is also a great way to not only connect with others, but to learn more about the lifestyle. Social media apps like Reddit allow 18+ users to create forums for more adult topics. There are hundreds of NSFW subreddits, multiple being related to swinging. Reddit also hosts chat rooms, where users can talk to one another. Chat requests do have to be accepted before a conversation can being, though. Instant messaging allows for users to chat with each other, and can lead to new friendships and potentially new relationships in some cases.

Swinger dating sites are also available online. Swinger sites are similar to swinger dating apps, but are available on the internet and don't have to be downloaded as an app. Finding the right site is a great option to connect you with local swingers.

Swinger events usually have some sort of online presence as well. A simple Google search can help you research and plan your next swinging event.

Top 5 best swinger dating sites

Below are five of the best swinger sites for any couple that wants to get into the scene. These are the best swinger websites that can match you and your partner with other swinging couples. All you need is the internet! Sister publications might recommend different sites, but these are my personal top picks for people wanting to connect with other members of the swinging lifestyle community. Read on to learn more about the best dating sites for swingers.

AdultFriendFinder is one of, if not the best swinger site for connecting non-monogamous couples. One of the reasons is that adult friend finder has an incredibly large userbase, offers free membership, and should you choose to sign up for the premium membership, it definitely won't break the bank. The userbase is also full of open-minded people, who may have never tried swinging before but would be willing to give it a shot.

Do be aware of fake profiles. Like with any popular dating site, you run the risk of encountering bots and spammers. Usually these should be easy enough to spot.

Overall, AFF is the best dating site for swinging couples looking for a unicorn. Although bots are pesky, the large userbase gives you plenty of genuine users when it comes to hooking up.

Swinger’s Date Club

If you're new to the swinging community, Swingers Date Club is the best swinger site for you. This swingers-only site has a large active community and offers tons of information on the lifestyle and experiences for you that will help you get the most out of the lifestyle.

The great thing about SDC is that it weeds out users who seem like they're there for any reason other than to connect with the community and make new friends. Because of this, the registration process can seem a bit tedious.

Another downside to this site is that you have to sign up for a premium membership and pay the membership fee before you can talk to any other swingers online. Even so, signing up for the site allows for nearby event recommendations and the latest news delivered to you. And the large amount of active users will make it a bit easier to find someone that you connect with.

While some swingers want to meet potential partners strictly online, SwingerLifeStyle is one of the best swinger websites for couples looking for others to spice up their sex life IRL. SLS is the oldest swinger website to date and is completely geared towards finding people to go to swingers events with.

This site offers a community of real swingers wanting to look for new connections. The userbase is skewed towards the older side, so you might have better luck elsewhere if you want a younger partner. However, the userbase also consists mainly of couples, so if you're looking for a single person, this also may not be the site for you.

However, this is the best networking site for swingers. If you're involved in the community and want to learn more about other members and events going on, this is the best site for you.

Reddit Swingers R4R

Reddit was mentioned earlier as a fantastic social media platform for adult content. This site offers numerous communities dedicated to the swing lifestyle, Swingers R4R being one of them. This is the best swinger dating site that is 100% free to use.

Spammers and bots are not an issue on this site due to the limit of posts you can create each day to give everyone a chance to shine. You're also unable to promote personal pages such as OnlyFans to keep more paid content articles from clogging up the feed, but that's only an issue if you or your partner is a content creator looking to advertise. On other NSFW subreddits, people who produce paid content articles join just to advertise, which can get a little repetitive. After all, one who isn’t part of premium subscription sites still deserves access to the attention of the community too!

The userbase on this platform is fairly small, so it might take you a while to find the perfect partner for you. But unlike other sites, Reddit Swingers R4R is completely free, so it doesn't hurt to check it out!

Tinder might be an unexpected place to find a new unicorn, but with the largest active userbase of any dating site, you're bound to find someone down to do pretty much anything! The interface is simple and easier to use than most other sites, and you'll find yourself scrolling through profiles for hours.

Tinder works well no matter your location, as you can connect with both local singles, local couples, and singles and couples around the globe. It's easy to tell what other users are looking for since their pictures and bio will be the first thing to pop up.

One big downside does come with the site's popularity. Due to the enormous number of active users, discreet hookups aren't always entirely possible. This isn't a site like Ashley Madison where people visit to find escapades behind closed doors, your profile is very much public. It's entirely possible that someone you know may stumble across your profile on Tinder. If swinging isn't something that you're open about, do be cautious about what you put on your profile.

Tips for swinger dating

There are some things you can do to make your swinging experience a little bit easier when looking for new people online. Frequenting swinger sites is one of the best ways to find like minded people.

Although it might sketch you out to list your location online, it’s important to give others in the community an idea of how far away you are. It can be scary if people in your life don’t know about your lifestyle, and it might seem like a risk. However, this can actually encourage other swingers to reach out to you if they happen to be in your area.

Do post pictures of yourself on your dating profile. Like listing your location, putting a picture of yourself online can be daunting, especially if you’re anxious about others in your life finding out about what you do. However, a profile with no picture can set off red flags for other people who might come across your profile. Accurate independent coverage can show other open minded couples what you look like and if there would be any physical attraction. You can upload a picture without a face or of different body parts to keep it discreet.

Lastly, be sure to pick out a website that works for you, rather than going with the cheapest option. Buying a premium membership can attract more people to your profile because it proves you’re legit. Most people lurking around these websites for other reasons typically won’t buy a membership.

Tips for couples

It’s been repeated many times already and I will repeat it many more: COMMUNICATE. The whole lifestyle depends on communication between partners, what works, what doesn’t, what you may have liked, what made you uncomfortable. Either way, the lifestyle really only works wen both partners trust each other enough to share intimacy with others, and that trust can be built and maintained with good, healthy communication.

It's also important for couples to try new things. Whether that be signing up for a new site, going to an event, or trying out a new kind of fetish play, new experiences can be exhilarating for both partners. Maybe you usually only video chat with others, and you could try meeting in person.  Of course, you may not click with everything you try, but the more you branch out and find new things to do with your partner, the more likely you are to find your new favorite activity.

Tips for singles

One of the most important things you can do is to take care of yourself! Practicing good hygiene, dressing to impress, and generally just putting your best foot forward can definitely help you attract a potential partner.

Don’t be afraid to go to events alone! Swinger clubs, parties, and other get togethers are not only a great way to learn more about swinging and the community, it also is a great place to make connections and find potential partners.

It also doesn’t hurt to observe. If you’re a single and find yourself at an event, take a look around at what others are doing and see if anything piques your interest. Of course, be sure to observe respectfully. Don’t hover over anyone or attempt to touch anyone without consent.

Even if you don’t find anyone to hook up with, try to engage with other open minded couples. If you’re new to the scene, you’ll have people you can ask questions if you find yourself wondering about anything. They also might be able to introduce you to new people and events within the community.

Finally, don’t compare yourself to anyone else. It can be disheartening getting undressed, only to find yourself covering up because you may not think you’re as attractive or skilled as anyone else. It’s easy to get insecure but remember, it’s not about who can have the best sex. It’s about having fun and exploring your own sexual side!

Safety Tips

Safety always, always comes before sexual desires. It’s important to keep both yourself and your partner out of harm’s way by being mindful of each other and using common sense.

When playing with other partners, always wear protection. Not only does it reduce the chances of pregnancy, it can reduce the transmission of STIs as well. It’s never a good idea to have unprotected sex with a new partner because you don’t know their history and if they’ve been tested recently.

If you’re engaging in non-monogamous hookups, it’s also vital to get tested often, ideally in between every new partner. STI’s can be a nuisance at best and a lifelong condition at worst. Some infections can be transmitted and not show any signs or symptoms for months or even years after catching it.

Always practice good internet safety. Never give out your address online, only specify a vague region. Never meet strangers at their houses for the first time, especially if you go alone. You never know what intentions someone might have, so it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Important things to know before trying

If the lifestyle is a new idea to you, here are some tips for you to consider before you start.

Before you jump into the physical side of swinging, do your research on the lingo. There are terms used in the swinging community that would be helpful for you to know. One example being swapping. There is a big difference between a soft swap and a full swap. A soft swap involves performing sexual acts other than PIV sex, while a full swap does involve penetration.

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Even with great communication skills, miscommunications can happen. This is why it’s critical to double, and even triple-check boundaries with your partner.

Make sure to regularly check in with your partner when out and about as well. Sometimes, swinging can get overwhelming, and it may be hard to voice your discomfort in the midst of a swap or event. Checking in with your partner gives them an opening to let you know if they’re uncomfortable, or have any negative feelings.

How to maintain a healthy relationship while exploring others

Once again, communication is key. I’ve been reiterating the importance of communication between partners and trust, but I’ve been doing that for a reason. The main takeaway is that in order for a swinging relationship to work, both parties need to know that they can trust the other.

Do keep in mind that your partner may eventually change their mind about swinging, which is totally okay! If the time ever comes when your partner decides that they’re done swinging, continuing to go out and engage with new people or pressuring them into continuing can ruin their trust in you and can end the relationship completely. Bottom line: always take your partner’s feelings into consideration.

Final thoughts

Swinging is a great way for couples to explore their non-monogamous sexual fantasies. While it can be incredibly rewarding for relationships, it does require excellent communication and trust. It’s also important to keep in mind that every relationship is different and the boundaries between other couples need to be respected too. Although it can definitely strengthen relationships, it’s also very easy for the swinging lifestyle to have a drastically negative impact on relationships if not done right.

Finding swinging events and members of the community near you can be a challenge, as with any niche. Check out the great sites I recommended above, but don’t be afraid to expand your search. Don’t be afraid to spend some money either, some of the best swinger sites have paid memberships for a reason. Nevertheless, it’s easy to find swingers if you know where and how to look. It’s not too hard to go onto Google and find a great site with the features you desire. Every swinger is different, and it may take some exploring to find the right swingers sites for you!

Overall, if you follow all of the tips mentioned above and do your research into any of the named websites and apps, you are sure to find one that works best in your situation. Always keep in mind the guidelines mentioned for a successful and healthy swinging relationship. Whether you are single or a couple looking for swinging tips, these will certainly help you out at any point of your swinging journey!