Speed dating hookup? Is this the fastest way to get a girlfriend?
Love is a fickle thing.
We all want it, but it seems so elusive that a person can begin to feel like they are just not destined to find it.
It's true that finding the right person can be a truly massive undertaking. You have to make sure she has an interest in you, and that she thinks you're funny, attractive, smart, and caring.
Even if you do find girls that like you, you have to make sure you like them too. That can complicate things even more.
One solution to this problem is speed dating. The speed dating philosophy understands that sometimes, what you need is quantity. Finding the right girl might just require casting a wide net.
Let's go over some of the most common speed dating methods on the internet, and how you can nail every single one.
Let's find out if speed dating is the fastest way to get a girlfriend.
Types of Speed Dating
Before you get started on speed dating, it's important to cover the most common types, and how a session might look when you attend one.
Speed Dating Events
This is the oldest form of speed dating.
A quick Google search for speed dating in your area will likely reveal several events for single adults on the schedule at local venues.
The way these dating events work is very simple. Everyone shows up, grabs a drink, and then the members of one gender will typically sit down while the others move from table to table.
A speed dating event is usually held in casual, public, non-threatening environments like:
- Community Centers
- Event Space
The people moving from station to station get a predetermined amount of time to make their case to whoever sits at the other end of the table.
Session times can vary from 30 seconds to five minutes - usually, just enough time to give the basics of who you are and learn about the other person a bit.
If both people are interested in each other by the end of the speed dating event, information can be exchanged to set up a full night out in the future.
Speed Dating Apps
Dating apps are all sort of a version of speed dating.
You read about and look at pictures of local singles and determine from that whether or not you want to connect.
But there are dating apps that specialize in true speed dating. Often, this comes in the form of online video speed dating.
You can select people with whom you want to speed date, and have a conversation with them on a live video before deciding if you are interested in becoming more than friends.
Here are some of the best dating app services for speed dates:Match
Match is a veteran in the online dating app world. Users can connect with women and guys alike to determine whether they want to join them on a date.
They make it very easy to chat with users right on the platform, and the profiles even allow a certain amount of customization so you don't waste any time.
Some of the relationships formed on Match have gone on to become married and even have children together. While it's not the best app for hooking up or casual sex, it is free to join.
Match also sets up and advertises singles' events in certain areas, so be sure to check there for the next event near you.Tinder
The most recognizable name in the romance app world is always worth mentioning.
Tinder is a favorite with college students and young professionals, so whether you're looking for rich guys or sorority women, it makes sense to give Tinder a try.
While it's better for finding a one night stand than many other apps, Tinder is still mainly focused on relationships.
Setting up an account is free, but you might find it hard to start a conversation if you don't get the premium version.
Swipe-based apps sort of have speed dating built-in, since you decide if you like someone based on their pictures and bios, but you can always chat online to learn more about them.LightningSpeedDating
LightningSpeedDating is a free dedicated speed dating app that allows up to forty people per event.
The events work much like they do in real life, but since it's over the internet, there are always new people attending.
Since there are so many people who spend their time looking for love on sites like this, you will find no shortage of potential matches.Facebook
The Facebook app is old-reliable for local meetups. While they have some stricter content guidelines that prevent you from getting too juicy on the app, it's still a great way to meet people.
Download the Facebook app, input your information, and join a singles group in your area. It's totally free to download.
Once you get rolling on the Facebook app, you'll actually find that it's also great for just posting updates for your family. It's used worldwide, including in the US, Canada, Europe, and Asia.
Now that you have an overall understanding of your options when it comes to finding relationships easily, you can start to work on your date skills.
How To Nail a Speed Date
In your search for a girlfriend, you know that you have to put your best foot forward.
Unfortunately, this is not a guarantee of success.
If you aren't finding a girlfriend after months of trying, the answer most likely lies in your flirting strategy, or in your overall date night vibe.
Here are some of the best tips for speed dates:
Learn How To Talk To Girls
It's nothing to be ashamed of. Many guys find it very hard to talk to girls about their interests and turn that into a connection.
Blame evolution. Nervousness is the brain's way of reminding you that the stakes are high and that danger - in this case, the danger of rejection - is near.
But here's the thing: There is no actual danger.
Being nervous made sense ages ago when you could actually, literally, be attacked by a giant sloth if you stepped outside your cave.
But in the modern era, there simply is very little actual danger to worry about.
Getting this notion rammed into your skull is imperative, because letting go of the nervousness is absolutely essential when it comes to talking to women.
Here is a complete guide to talking to women:
Confidence is the most important thing for a guy to exhibit, whether he's looking for dates, sex, or a family.
Some ways that you can at least appear confident when talking to women include:
- Clear your throat and speak up. You could say the most profound, free-thinking, women-pleasing philosophical prose ever uttered. But if you mumble it, all a woman will hear is "I don't know who I am and I need my mommy." Don't mumble.
- Break the ice with your intro. Your partner doesn't really care about who you are unless you give them a reason to. A great idea to break with ice is giving a compliment about something she clearly worked on. Some great ideas for ice-breakers also include mentioning her outfit, asking about her job, or making a joke about something going in the room.
- Visualize what will happen if you're successful. If you're looking for a girlfriend, imagine casually chatting while you chill at home with her. If you're looking for a one night stand, imagine her throwing that "thang" back. It sounds weird, but it helps your mind relax and consider the good, instead of just the bad.
Have Sex Appeal
Guys think that just being fit is enough to have sex appeal, but it's not.
You also need to smell good and be stylish, interesting, and fun. It also helps to try to make your presence more commanding.
It's easy to duck into a corner during speed dating events, but you should try to avoid it. Women want a guy who likes himself just as much as he likes everyone else, so stride into the room with some friends and be ready to light some matches.
This is harder to do on a dating site. Here's how to have more sex appeal on a dating app:
- Only post good pictures. If you're fit, you can show a little muscle by wearing a tanktop, but a shirtless pic screams "douche." Your pictures should show what a free, fun-loving guy you are.
- Tweak your bio. Your bio is where you'll be marketing yourself. The bio should have an air of friendship and fun. Mention your favorite movies or movies you want to see with women. It also helps to start a conversation in your bio, like "Tell me about your favorite entertainment," or "If you had a superpower, what would it be?" You can list some of your preferences in a partner, but don't go overboard.
- Take advantage of premium services. It's annoying, but sometimes a the perks of a premium account might be what you need to get busy.
You want to be a kind man overall, because that's sexy. Women, despite what extremely round men with neckbeards say on the internet, like respectful guys.
Listen to her when she talks, ask her about her friends, and generally just behave like two adults having fun on their one night off.
Don't go too far with it. Women like nice men, not "good friends" who fold at the first sign of conflict. Confidence and strength are key.
What To Do On The Date Itself
Here's how you succeed on a speed date:
1.) Introduction and Ice Breaker
Put some power behind your voice and plan what you're going to say.
2.) Let her Speak
People like conversing about themselves, whether on an app or in person.
3.) Make Yourself Interesting
Talk about things with passion. Make your job sound cool.
4.) Wrap It Up With a Clear Statement Of Intent
If you want a one night stand, you should make that clear.
If you want something more serious, tell her you admire her a lot and that you have a lot of respect for her, and you want to get to know her better.
5.) Close The Deal
This could mean scheduling another time to meet, heading back to your place, or letting her down easy if you're not feeling it.
That's all there is to speed dating! While one night typically isn't enough to guarantee that certain women are better as, let’s say, Facebook friends than as a hookup or partner, speed dating is the fastest way to find a girlfriend without going through dating apps.