Fetish hookup? 14 best BDSM kink and sex positive dating apps
Online dating has taken over in recent years, with several websites and apps dedicated to helping people find compatible matches all over the world. From social media sites to more taste-specific online communities, it has become the easiest way to find local meetups.
While it may be more difficult to be open about kinks and fetishes on the normal dating scene, the internet enables those with particular interests to reach out to others looking for something similar. This is especially true for those involved with BDSM, an erotic practice that has increased popularity lately.
In this article, we will explain key terms before listing the top 14 sex positive dating apps out there for people looking to participate in BDSM. Whether you are experienced or curious, you will find some dating sites on this list to point you in the right direction!
What is BDSM?
First and foremost, it will help to get an understanding of exactly what BDSM means. To put it simply, BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism, and masochism.
The terms bondage and discipline shouldn't be that hard to figure out. Neither should dominance and submission. These are all pretty self-explanatory if you think about it.
The two more uncommon terms you may not be familiar with are sadism and masochism. Sadism means a person gets pleasure and sexual gratification from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others. For masochism, the exact opposite is true. Rather than deriving pleasure from inflicting pain on others, you enjoy it being imposed on you.
The term BDSM has become very mainstream over the past few years. It's become so mainstream that local munches exist.
These are essentially social gatherings for men, women, and others who are involved or interested in BDSM. If you are curious, this is an excellent social gathering to attend to get started.
You will find that the BDSM community (wherever you are in the world) is incredibly open, so don't ever let fear of being rejected stop you from joining. If you are unsure where you fall on the spectrum, you can always take a BDSM test online to figure it out.
What Is a Kink?
The definition of the term “kink” is related to human sexuality. It is basically an unusual or unconventional preference in the bedroom. There are plenty of different kinks and specific tastes out there to explore, regardless of your fetish.
BDSM falls under the umbrella term of kinks, but many other kinks exist. Some of the most common are foot fetish, sex toys, high heels, dominant women, and swingers, to name a few.
Safe spaces exist for the majority of kinks. You will most likely be able to find something that fits your fancy in an online community.
What Is a Fetish?
A fetish is similar to a kink, but when it comes to a fetish, it may eventually become necessary for sexual gratification. A kink generally helps with your pleasure and enhances it, but it is not essential for you to reach completion.
However, if it gets to the level of a fetish, you cannot reach sexual gratification without having it. An example of this is a foot fetish.
Again, these terms are remarkably similar, so it can be difficult to tell the difference. It's okay to use the two words interchangeably, but it still helps if you know the difference between them if you ever get involved in a fetish community in your part of the world.
Before exploring BDSM, it us essential to understand safe words and consent. These are the most important components of the BDSM community. Consenting adults engage in these relationships or join these communities to enjoy themselves. However, sometimes things can get uncomfortable, which is where a safe word comes in.
Simply put, a safe word is used in the BDSM scene, especially when things get too uncomfortable or painful or you want to stop. It needs to be a word that isn't usually said during sex or one that you cannot forget.
Always discuss this with your partner before engaging in any BDSM, fetishes, or anything new in the bedroom.
Top 14 List of The Best Sites: Kink, Fetish Dating Sites/BDSM Dating Site
Now that we have that covered, we will go into our top 14 websites in the world that fit into BDSM, fetish, etc. It's always great to check out these communities so you can find some like-minded people in your area. This is a great place to start for those kink-curious people out there!
Feeld is a free simple app/website/social network that helps those interested in fetish dating to find others with similar interests. This fetish dating site lets singles and couples seek other kinky people.
This specific site stands out from all the other similar sites out there because it is especially great for those wanting threesomes. The video chat or group chat feature makes adding multiple users to the conversation really easy, so keep that in mind.
Kinkoo is a kink dating app that will help you find some kinky people who are just as adventurous as you to chat with. You might find some people that are less kinky, but that's okay too! It is an app, so you must have a mobile phone to access it.
The best part is that it weeds out those fake profiles or suspicious users. Plus, you'll be able to find other users or members based on a soft or hard limit. Searching for similar users will be easy, so consider downloading and exploring Kinkoo to see what it's all about.
Literotica is a site primarily for free erotic fiction. However, other than its free stories to explore, it can also be a spot to engage in exploring some kinky dating. While it might not seem like something you would use for fetish dating, you can talk with other users about stories you may have searched for, similar interests, and more.
The stories are a great ice breaker to move to more sensual talk. However, there are few features beyond the basic chat. It's not like it has a swipe function like Tinder! This is something to keep in mind before signing up if you are used to more advanced applications.
11 BDSM Date
BDSM Date is a great fetish dating site to meet up with fellow kinksters. It has blogs and forums and is a great way to find someone in your local area to engage in sex with. Like Literotica, it is a little on the basic side (though it has more options to engage with others).
This is an excellent option if you have specific interests such as leather, femdom, and more.
Adult Friend Finder is our number 10 choice for a place to find different kinky partners in a partially kinky community. It offers a free sign-up, but a free version can only get you so far compared to a premium account.
Now, this isn't specifically dedicated to these lifestyles, but there are communities inside the website that can find. Its most significant feature is that you can easily find a match in your city, unlike some other fetish dating sites.
9 BDSM Hookups
BDSM Hookups is a dating site for those who engage in the lifestyle or even if you are just into the fetish. This is especially true if you want to find a dominatrix.
There are a lot of dominant women and mistresses on this site, so it's great if that's where your area of interest lies.
8 Bondage Pal
This is a great dating community we found during our search for the best dating sites. It is a kink positive bdsm community, where you can join and chat with others. While it's targeted toward a specific group, it's very chill, and this site's creators ensure that all the users are real people.
Even if the fetish bdsm isn't your specific interest, consider giving it a look because it has a casual environment. There is no pressure, so if you decide it is not for you, you can search for another free option.
7 Fantasy Match
Fantasy Match is the place to go if you want to spice up your sex life and enjoy kinky sex in a poly environment.
This app is specially designed for people who are into poly dating. It doesn't matter if it is serious or casual. This is a great choice if you are interested in opening your marriage or dating a married couple.
A dedicated staff designed this, so expect to be welcomed in a safe environment if you join this app to search for your kink or other local kink lovers.
Whiplr is yet another fetish dating option to find some people to have fun with. There is local matching with over 230 fetish options to choose from. Chances are, you'll be able to find your specific fetish available as you search the website.
There is a limited preview, so if you are hoping to get a look at it before signing up, you will be disappointed.
KinkD will help you engage in kinky dating and BDSM dating to find other kinksters. There are particular options and niches to choose from as well as worldwide matches!
The only drawback is that it's only available on an app, so if you don't have a mobile phone, you won't be able to use it. However, should you have a mobile phone, consider downloading it to start your search and check out all the available options in your area.
4 Reddit BDSM Personals
Reddit personals is a great free place to engage in some fetish dating. It's pretty simple and has an excellent moderating team to eliminate all the spam. The only reason it isn't higher on the list is that beyond the chatting feature, there isn't much else you can do.
Out of all of these, it's the easiest option to use, so if you like things to stay simple and easy in your life, you need to check out this subreddit.
Fetster is another free option to search for bdsm singles sand other people wanting to engage in some fetish online dating. It has a lot of extreme fetishes as well, like CBT, master-slave, spanking, caging, and pegging, to name a few.
There are local meetup options and an option to make your group! It has a little bit of everything available for its users.
Alt.com is a great fetish site to find other kinksters into your kink. Fetish lovers who are gay-straight or trans will not be able to get enough of this site.
While it has a limited free preview, a premium membership is worth it—especially if you want to send unlimited messages to all those matches you get. The same goes for receiving messages.
There are options for gay, straight, trans people, and even couples. Moderators always eliminate spam on the website, so you won't have to worry about getting bogged down by those things as you browse for matches.
FetLife is one of the best fetish dating sites and one of the most well-known platforms for this purpose. Once you join, you'll be able to find fellow kinksters or other fetish lovers out there. You will probably be able to find your fetishes here, whatever they may be.
The first thing is that there is a free membership. Free offers are always sure to get people to join, so we are glad FetLife offers this.
It has a vast community and acts as a social network and dating site simultaneously. You can watch videos and talk with people online all over the world after you join.
For these reasons, FetLife is our number one choice. Not to say the other options aren't great, but FetLife certainly stands out the most when it comes to dating sites for kink curious people.
Whether you are curious, an experienced kinkster, into a fetish lifestyle, or want to do some kink dating, the above listed sites are a great place to start.
This is not an exhaustive list, but these apps and websites stand out from the rest for kink lovers and those wanting to live a fet lifestyle. Most sites provide a safe space to explore almost any specific kink.
With a mixture of kink dating apps and bdsm sites available for fetish hookups, there is something for everyone to try out!
Sign up for one today to receive messages from other members of the bdsm dating community.