Cuddling after hookup? Here's what you need to know
Hooking up is very popular nowadays, partially thanks to the internet and websites. Whether it's casual sex or something like a boyfriend/girlfriend or friends with benefits relationship, it is more widely accepted than it was, say forty or fifty years ago. Chances are, you may be hooking up with someone yourself. Hooking up is different for everyone, so there isn't one specific way you have to act during or afterwards.
Something that may happen during a hook up is cuddling. Given that hookups lean on the casual side and cuddling is seen as a more intimate, close act, this might raise some eyebrows.
In this article, we will cover not only what hooking up and cuddling means but also what it can lead to and the how it can potentially affect all parties involved.
Definition of Hooking Up Sex
The basic definition of hooking up is when two or more people get sexually intimate with each other. This level of intimacy usually involves intercourse but can technically even refer to kissing—though not many people would refer to just kissing as hooking up.
It really is an ambiguous term that can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people and their relationships. In the context of this article, we are assuming hooking up means getting intimate with someone in some sexual manner.
What Is Cuddling?
You know what hooking up means, but what about cuddling? Simply put, it means you are holding another person in an affectionate manner. Cuddling in the context of a bed means people are lying close together and basically nestling together in the bed.
It is a very intimate and cute act between two people and can carry a heavier implication than sex can. It might mean there is possibly a romantic connection between two people. So, if this is happening with someone else who you are hoping to keep things casual with, it can cause you to feel very confused and panicked.
Cuddling After Sex: What Does it Mean?
Now, on the one hand, it honestly could mean that they are actually romantically interested in you, have feelings for you, or want to pursue a deeper relationship. However, it can just as easily mean they find satisfaction with being friends with benefits, which is fine. There is nothing wrong with finding satisfaction in cuddling after sex.
Some people may want to cuddle post-sex because they are cold and just want some bodily warmth from their partner. Others may just be too lazy to roll off you after an exhausting round of sex. It could mean something deeper, but it might not.
Really, the only way to find out is to ask your sexual partner if you want to figure out what it could mean. If you don't, then just leave it up in the air. There is nothing wrong with that, either.
Cuddling After Casual Sex: How Common Is It?
Have you ever wondered how common cuddling after sex is? Well, the thing is, it depends on the person. Suppose you do enjoy it (for whatever reason), then good for you. Should you not like it, then that's fine too!
The stereotype is that women or girls tend to like it more than most men or guys, due to women being seen as more emotional. However, this doesn't mean that men don't enjoy it as well. It really just does depend on the person. You may encounter someone who falls asleep during a cuddle after sex, while another guy or girl might not find it as cute. While a cuddle or a kiss does have a romantic undertone, the action itself does not always translate to relationships.
How to Encourage a Cuddle After Hook-up Sex
Suppose you are the type who does love closeness and showing affection after post-sex, then good on you. There are ways you can encourage this kind of behavior as well, but keep in mind that your partner has the right to say no. Once they say no, that's it. You have to back off.
One way to encourage it is to just straight up ask for it. The direct approach is always the easiest, but most people may not have enough courage to do so. Another thing you can do is subtly engage in some light snuggling with your partner. Throw your arms or legs gently over them and see what happens. If they seem receptive, then keep going! You can be the big spoon or little spoon, whichever you prefer. It is possible that the other person falls asleep if they are comfortable enough.
How to Discourage a Cuddle After Hook up Sex
Suppose you are the type of guy or girl who prefers personal space after having a hookup, then also good on you. It's okay not to enjoy it and not feel like you are missing out on something. If you want to try to discourage this behavior, there are things you can do or steps you can take.
Again, the biggest way to discourage it is to just straight up tell them that you don't enjoy doing it or would rather not engage in such behavior at the moment. Should the direct approach be something you worry about doing, then go the subtle route?
When they start to try to cuddle post sex with you, and you aren't feeling it, then scoot away from them in bed or casually shrug off their arm or leg. While this may not be the politest thing to do, it will probably give your partner the message that you don't want to engage.
Benefits of a Cuddle After Sex
Even if you don't love cuddling post-sex, you have to realize that it does have actual benefits. New Research shows that these include:
- Bigger chances of relationship(s)
Satisfaction, increased affection, or feelings in a relationship are probably the most obvious benefits you would expect to find after cuddling. They really are self-explanatory.
2. Improved Sleep/Rest at night
This a benefit due to the oxytocin being released during a close snuggle. This can, in turn, help improve sleep patterns, which is always a great thing. Who hasn't had trouble falling asleep? If snuggling can help us fall asleep, then sign me up! I would love to lay my head on a pillow and fall right to sleep.
3. Improved Health
There is a link to reduced risk of heart disease, stress, and pain (ex: a headache or chest pain). If something as simple as cuddling can help reduce such serious problems as heart disease, then you should definitely try it. The same goes for relieving pain and reducing stress.
4. Improved immune system
Yes, it can help your immune system because cuddling helps release serotonin and dopamine, which can, in fact, boost your immune system. This can help lengthen your life and overall satisfaction.
5. Increased Affection
It can also lead to more sex, desire, and affection in a relationship, which should not be surprising. This also brings you closer to orgasm.
Cuddling After Casual Sexual Encounter: Should you do it?
So now we have to get to the ultimate question. Should you engage in snuggling after what is supposed to be a casual encounter? Well, yes, but again, only if you want to. You never have to do anything before, during, or after sex if you don't feel up to you.
We mentioned this before but felt like we should say it again because consent is always an important thing to have in a relationship(s), regardless of how casual or serious, said relationship is. Always stop and have a sidebar before sex to discuss this.
How to Decode a Cuddle After Hook up Sex
If you do happen to be snuggling after some casual sex or casual hookup relationship and are unsure of what it means, the only way to figure it out is to just straight up ask and talk to them. We said this after explaining what cuddling after sex could mean.
Are there ways you could find a way around it and not ask directly? Sure, but it's hell trying to pick up on those 'subtle signs' is kind of useless because they could mean anything. Example: a laugh doesn't always mean you find something funny.
The direct approach, no matter how scary or awkward it might be, is usually the best approach when it comes to these sorts of things. You don't have to ask verbally, of course. It's totally fine to text or e mail submit the question.
Final Thoughts
And there you have it. If you want to really know what cuddling means, you generally have to put in the effort and find out. It doesn't matter if you are a university student or middle-aged. May people do it during and after hookups or links found on a dating site. Don't think you are weird if you like to kiss, watch someone wrap their arms around you, laugh, or just want a friend.
Dudes and girls may enjoy spending time together after a hookup, or even miss each other when they are apart. Whether you are a man or a woman, it's okay to feel lonely!
