Are hookup sites legal? Complete Guide to Using Hookup Sites Legally and Safely
Hookup sites are legal to use in all fifty states, but that doesn't mean you can't still land in trouble when using them.
Downloading and using hookup sites is perfectly legal, but what you do on a hookup app is still under the jurisdiction of U.S. and state law.
Think of it like going to a bar. Going to a bar is perfectly legal. Going to a bar and immediately punching someone in the face is not legal.
Even though you'll never get in trouble for simply using adult dating sites, there are still some guidelines to follow to make sure everyone's conduct is in accordance with Uncle Sam's house rules.
Let's cover all of the best safety tips for using a dating app or adult dating site to ensure you have a fun, safe experience all around.
Can You Get In Trouble for Prostitution On Dating Sites?
Yes! You can absolutely get in trouble for soliciting a prostitute on hookup sites.
Many sex sites have poor administration, which means women looking to sell a sexual act can be a problem. Your best bet is to stick with a good hookup app or dating platform with a staff dedicated to removing these kinds of profiles.
If you are ever chatting with a woman on a hookup apps, and she requests money in exchange for physical sex, you should block her immediately.
Here is a list of penalties and jail times for varying levels of prostitution activity:
- For soliciting an adult prostitute: 90 days in jail and up to a $1,000 fine
- For engaging in sexual activity with a prostitute: $3,000 fine and up to one year in jail
These penalties increase if you have multiple priors, or if the prostitute was a minor. If you have serious questions about what conduct is legal or illegal in your state and county, contact an actual lawyer.
Prostitution is a crime almost everywhere in the United States. The only exceptions are a few counties in Nevada:
Counties In Nevada Where Prostitution is Legal:
- Storey County
- White Pine County
- Humboldt County
- Nye County
- Lyon County
- Mineral County
- Lander County
- Churchill County
- Elko County
- Esmeralda County
Note that while sexual activity with a prostitute is legal in these counties, it is extremely regulated. In most of them, it is only legal in the county's incorporated city.
In all of them, the sex must occur in a registered brothel, which must not be within a few hundred feet of a school or place of worship. All brothels are licensed, pay federal income tax, and are highly regulated.
Condoms must be used by and with the sex workers, who must get HIV tests regularly and must have a background check in order to work.
Contrary to popular belief, prostitution is not legal in Clark County, where Las Vegas is located. Anyone who tells you otherwise when you visit is up to illegal activity and may rope you in.
Additionally, setting up paid sex outside of a brothel in these counties is illegal.
Is buying nudes from a girl illegal?
Sometimes, a hookup website may have profiles for women who want to sell sexual images and videos. So long as the woman is over 18 years old, this is completely legal!
In no state is it a crime to pay a woman for nudes. Only physical activity is counted under prostitution laws.
This fact has led to the founding of sex positive companies that specialize in allowing buyers and sugar daddies to either solicit images from users or buy a paid subscription for all content on the site.
A few examples of websites that allow you to buy and sell nudes include:
While most sites like these are safe and legal to use, there are a few precautions you should take to protect yourself.
How To Buy Nudes From A Girl Safely
The first thing you should look for is the company's policy on underage content. If they do not have a strict zero-tolerance policy on underage users, leave the site immediately.
Even accidentally viewing underage sexual content can land you in prison for a very long time, so your first priority should be ensuring that this can't happen. Morally, as well, you should never want to support a sex site that is not explicitly against sex crimes against children.
Most popular hookup sites and content sellers are pretty good about this, but it is worth it to double-check.
Once you have verified that a site is safe to use from a legal standpoint, it's time to protect yourself from fake profiles and scammers.
Here are the steps to safely buying nudes:
1.) Watch Out For Scammers
The most common problem most users run into when trying to buy nudes is getting scammed.
For example, let's say you send Amy, 29, $1,000 for 50 videos of her performing some truly nasty acts of masturbation while dressed as Lara Croft. Your bank account gets debited, you get the lotion ready, and then Amy seems to disappear from the face of the earth. You just got bamboozled.
To avoid this, only buy nudes from well-reputed sellers on official and recognized platforms. Keep an eye out for any tactic that might be used by fake profiles. This can include, but is not limited to, the following:
- Name mismatches on the profile
- A refusal to offer live video chat
- Asking to be paid off of the platform's preferred method
- Attempts to move the conversation over to other dating sites
All of these should alert you to the fact that the person behind the profile may, in fact, not be "Amy, 29" but rather "Bob, 62."
2.) Confirm Ages Often
The best hookup sites that allow internet-based casual sex activities will always verify a seller's age. Typically, they require an I.D. when a seller signs up for the site.
It never hurts, however, to ask for a girl's age multiple times before buying content. For the safety of children and yourself, it's worth it.
3.) Stay Away From Prostitutes
If a girl asks to meet up in person in exchange for money, block her immediately. Even without the intent to buy real sex, and you're just looking for images or videos, you can still land in hot water purely by talking to her.
Once you confirm all of the above requirements, you're ready to buy some nudes and get busy!
Of course, prostitution is not the only thing that can get you in trouble on dating sites. Sex can make even the most pious friar crazy. If you get too creepy, you can also find yourself at the business end of the judge's gavel.
What Is Cyberstalking and Is It Illegal?
Cyberstalking is the act of continually harassing someone online by finding new ways to contact them or find out about their life. In simpler terms, making anyone feel uncomfortable on the internet could be classified as cyberstalking.
While there is technically no federal law that specifically addresses cyberstalking, internet creeps are still often prosecuted under standard stalking laws.
Additionally, many states have online dating laws that specifically incriminate constant harassment using digital means.
Here is a list of some cases of cyberstalking, as well as the sentence:
- Gary Dellapenta - Solicitation of sexual assault and violence against a woman who chose not to date him. Sentenced to 6 years in prison.
- James Baugh and David Harville - Executives of eBay, allegedly launched a harassment campaign against a couple who published critical newsletters relating to eBay's business practices. Awaiting sentencing.
- Byron A. Cardozo - Consistently harassed a writer who revealed details of sexual assault by Cardozo on her. Sentenced to 70 months and three years of supervised release.
More and more states are constructing cyberstalking laws to keep hookup sites safe from the kind of person who would do these kinds of things.
Even in a state that is behind on cyberstalking laws, you can land a misdemeanor charge for harassment. In most cases, this is punishable by a $1,000 fine and up to one year in county jail.
Luckily, you can protect yourself from getting charged with cyberstalking by simply leaving people alone who aren't interested in talking to you. Easy as that!
Unfortunately, you may sometimes find yourself on the other end of cyberstalking. This can be a very traumatic experience, but there are steps you can take to make sure the situation is de-escalated.
What To Do If You Are Being Cyberstalked on a Dating App
Maybe someone is giving you bad vibes. Maybe you decided that you just don't like the cut of their jib (whatever that means.)
Regardless of the reason, there are times where you will reject someone's sexual advances. If this person happens to be some kind of human-caveman hybrid, they may decide to harass you.
Why Do People CyberStalk?
The psychology behind any kind of stalking varies from case to case, but usually relates to three concepts:Control
People perpetrate cyberstalking because it gives them a sense of control over another person.
If someone is interested in you sexually and you reject them, they feel a loss of control, which is too much for some people to handle.
Monitoring you and harassing you online gives them a sense of power that makes them feel better.Pleasure
Some stalkers creep on others because it gives them a rush. This often comes from an obsession with their victim.
Our brains are immensely powerful, but sometimes wires get crossed. When a stalker becomes unrequitedly obsessed with someone, stalking them can give them a rush of chemicals right to the pleasure center of their brain.
This pleasure can come from the taboo nature of stalking, the idea of knowing things about a person without their knowledge, or sexual fantasies about the victim.Jealousy
Perhaps the most common form of cyberstalking comes from a place of jealousy.
An ex-boyfriend stalks an ex-girlfriend because he wants to know what she's up to, who she's talking to, and how she's feeling. That sort of thing.
Regardless of the reason behind cyberstalking, none of it is okay. If you are being cyberstalked by someone on a dating site, there are a number of steps you should take.
How To Deal With A Cyberstalker
First, take a deep breath. While being cyberstalked can be terrifying, and can devolve into real danger, panicking is not what you should do.
- First, send the person a message telling them very clearly to stop contacting you. This gives you a chance to stop the stalking in its tracks or, at the very least, have a record that you told them to stop (important if law enforcement gets involved.)
- Next, block them on your dating site, social media, and chat apps. Stalkers thrive on the idea that you are seeing their harassment. Blocking them disallows this and removes their source of pleasure.
- Save everything. It sucks to have to keep nasty messages on your phone, but if you need to escalate the situation to more formal measures (police, restraining order, etc.) you'll need the evidence.
- Finally, be ready to call the cops. It's rare, but sometimes cyberstalking turns into real stalking. If this person begins showing up at your house, disrupting your place of work, or messaging your friends and family, it's time to get the authorities involved. Show them everything and say you want to place charges. Speak to a lawyer about your options.
How To Find Hookups and Casual Sex Safely and Legally
Safety is a huge factor for online dating and hookup sites. Between all the sexy singles on Hookup, married people on Ashley Madison, and queer people on Grindr, how do you go about making friends, finding long term relationships, and getting local matches for potential hookups without exposing yourself to criminal activity and scammers?
It can feel overwhelming, which is why we have assembled a complete guide to safely using free hookup sites and dating apps.
Here is how you can find a one-night stand on a hookup site completely free:
1.) Choose Your Platform
There are dating sites and apps for just about anything you could want from your sex life.
Whether you're looking for other 20-something young people and professionals for casual sex, or you want more serious relationships, there is a site for you.
Here is a list to help you find the best hookup site for you:Hookup
Hookup is one of the best hookup apps for a one-night stand. With the free version, you can find your best hookup, no matter what you're into. With the paid version, you can narrow down your search so you never have to go to bed with blue balls again.
Find a consistent partner for lonely nights, or casual encounters for when you're bored. Hookup allows you to message users for free to set up casual hookups in no time.
With more women on the platform looking for no strings attached than any other, Hookup has the right user base to find anything you want. It's also completely free to join.
Adult Friend Finder
Adult Friend Finder has been a staple in the online dating community for decades. There are sex chat rooms for just about anything you could ask for, in any 18+ age range
Both straight people and members of the LGBTQ community can find a home on the free version of this platform. Over a million people use AFF to find the right person for a steamy night.Tinder
Tinder is the go to for people looking for a long term relationship. With thousands of potential matches waiting for you, Tinder works best for finding a long term partner, but can also be used to snag a booty call or casual sex.
A paying member on Tinder can see others on the dating app that find them attractive, to speed up the process of online dating.
The free version, which most users have, allows swiping through people based on your sexual desires and orientation, as well as the ability to edit your bio. If you're into casual sex or casual relationships, you can say that in your bio to help people decide whether they're into you.Grindr
Used by queer women and men alike, Grindr is the go-to spot for gay hookup culture. While some sites and apps allow anyone gay or straight over 18 to join, Grindr has the best user base for no strings attached gay hookups.
Grindr is used by over a million people - including queer women, gay men, and genderqueer folks - every day.
Ashley Madison is a place where people can cheat on their significant other. The existence of this site shows that, no matter what you are into, there is something for you in the world of dating sites.
As one of best hookup sites for cheaters, AM connects people with those who can fulfill a need their wife or husband cannot. This makes it a great dating site for hookups.
If you're a semi-attractive, semi-hygienic man, you just might be able to slip your way into Greg's wife on the DL.
Ashley Madison has garnered international attention several times. In July of 2015, many articles were published exposing a data leak for all of Ashley Madison's user base.
This calls into focus another, albeit less common, source of danger when it comes to online dating, dating sites, and dating apps: security.
There is no way to guarantee that your data will never be leaked from a dating app, but you can avoid some of the risk by using the following tactics:
- Using nicknames
- Using a throwaway email address
- Never giving an exact location
- Avoiding fake users
Once you find your chosen dating app, it's time to start your safe online dating journey!
2.) Build Your Online Dating Profile With Safety In Mind
Now comes the fun part. While the horny men of antiquity had to put themselves out into the world to find a hookup, often exposing themselves to rival tribesmen, dysentery, or a saber-tooth tiger, you can find the hottest girl to bang right from your phone through online dating.
Start by making a profile on your chosen hookup site. Be honest about what you want so you don't waste your own time.
You can even go so far as mentioning the type of woman you're into, whether you’re looking for a submissive blonde, a dominant brunette, or someone whos weirdly into maple syrup.
The sky's the limit, and everyone is beautiful. So long as you follow the user policy of your hookup site, anything is fair game.
Here are some tips on safely creating a profile on a dating site:
1.) Don't use your full name
2.) Don't list your exact location
3.) Don't include any pictures of family members
4.) Check pictures for identifying information before using them on online dating apps
Most dating apps require you to show pictures of yourself on your profile. The best hookup sites often require face pictures, to verify that you're a real person and not a computer trying to steal credit card information.
Many dating apps also put their own spin on what a profile is. Hinge, for example, allows you to choose prompts from a list and answer them on your profile.
Here are a few tips for maximizing your chances of finding a girl on a hookup site:
- Look good in your picture. A hookup app is only as successful as its sexiest users, so even if you're just into casual dating, put on something other than that tank top you've had since college.
- State your business. If you're not into spending money, make it clear you aren't one of those sugar daddies everyone's been talking about. Whatever type of casual dating you're into, say it.
- Make yourself interesting. If you have a good job, list it. If you're tall, list it. If you've climbed Everest, list it. Anything you can put down to pique a hookup app user's interest is good.
Assuming you do all three of those properly, you'll start getting matches soon. Once you do, it's time to get busy.
3.) Meet Your Hookup Partner Safely
A lot of dating apps have security features to keep out the crazies. But like any software, online dating apps aren't perfect.
There are a few things to keep in mind if you're meeting someone for sex that you wouldn't have to worry about if you were only, say, trading pictures.
Have a Video Chat Before Meeting In Person
This ensures that they are a real person and look like they do in their profile.
Many dating sites have live webcams that allow you to video call with other members. Use this feature and talk with them before meeting up.
Make sure they are responding to your questions verbally over video - some creeps will use a fake video of a woman to try and convince you that you're talking to the real deal. Luckily, this technology is not yet sophisticated enough to seamlessly have a fake AI person answer your questions.
Ask them for their favorite color or something. If they don't respond, block them and move on.
Tell Your Friends Where You Are Going
No matter your age, gender, max weight on bench press, or level of karate training, it is possible that you could be targeted for sex trafficking. It's just the unfortunate reality of meeting strangers on the internet.
If you're meeting someone at a hotel, let your close friends know where it is.
If you're going to a park (not recommended), you can share your location with a friend in case the situation goes south.
These simple steps can give law enforcement a chance to track you down if Amy, 29, turns out to be Bob, 62.
Carry The Defensive Tool That Works For You
If you're meeting someone physically larger than you, it's a good idea to have a plan in case they try to restrain you.
Packing pepper spray - or a gun if you're legally allowed to carry one - can mean the difference between getting home safely and ending up on a carton of milk.
Seriously, use a condom. It's unbelievably tempting not to sometimes, but it can save you from a world of hurt.
Not only does a condom greatly reduce your chances of picking up chlamydia, syphilis, HIV, HPV, and all manner of other nasty bugs, but it also reduces your chances of accidentally impregnating someone.
Don't turn a fun night of pleasure into weeks, years, or even a lifetime of consequences. Wear a condom.
Get Explicit Consent For Every Part of Every Hookup
Getting consent is obvious before having sex with someone. The most common issue related to consent during a hookup is not the overall consent to sexual activity, but is rather related to changes in conditions during the hookup itself.
For example, if a girl consents to sex in the bar after a couple of drinks, that's great!
However, if she's a bit of a lightweight and becomes considerably drunker in the taxi ride to the hookup site, then you need to ask her if she still consents.
If you are having consensual vaginal sex with a woman, but you want to switch to oral sex, you need to ask her if she still consents.
Sure, it can be awkward to interrupt the passion to ask about consent, but it has several advantages that make it worth not skipping:
1.) It confirms that the sex is, in fact, consensual, which is just a really, really good thing.
2.) It will help her to feel safer with you. Nothing turns a girl on more than knowing she's in safe hands.
3.) It prevents any false claims to be made about your behavior. While false rape accusations are rare, they do happen.
4.) It opens up communication to make the sex better for everyone involved.
After you make the mid-sex consent discussion a habit, it gets easier and allows everyone to have a safer, more pleasurable night.
Give (Or Don't Give) Explicit Consent
In the throes of passion, it's easy to focus so much on asking for consent that you forget to give consent. This is just as important.
Don't be afraid to have boundaries. If something makes you uncomfortable, let it be known.
This is important for everyone, but men tend to be worse about setting boundaries than women. Many men refuse to worry about this because society tends to imply through media that men cannot be raped.
This is completely false, and anyone who would make you feel bad for not consenting doesn't deserve your time.
There are other advantages to checking your consent level often, even beyond the obvious:
- You can show your partner that you're really enjoying yourself
- You can set a limit for anything that makes you feel nasty
- You can improve communication throughout the night.
People often use a dating site without really thinking about what they would be comfortable with during a hookup.
Take a few moments to consider where your limits are. Remember, the internet is full of mostly awesome people, with a few psychos sprinkled in. Establishing limits is your early-detection system for a dangerous situation.
Are Dating Apps Safe?
Overall, dating apps today are pretty safe. As long as you keep your wits about you and follow the steps above, you should be just fine.
Here is a quick checklist for using online dating apps safely:
- Watch out for scammers - Anyone asking for personal or financial information should be ignored.
- Watch out for prostitutes - Buying nudes is fine, but paying a woman to meet up with you outside of a legally registered brothel is illegal everywhere in the country.
- Watch out for stalkers - If you're being harassed, tell them to stop, save all messages, and contact the authorities if it gets worse.
- Watch out for minors - Always double-check a person's age, and only use sites with strict age verification processes and zero-tolerance underage use policies.
- Watch out for criminals - Bring a defensive tool to your meet-up. Tell your friends where you're going, and have a plan in case things go tits-up.
- Watch out for changes in consent - It never hurts to make sure both you and your partner are okay with whatever comes next.
Keep those in mind with everything you do on a dating app, and you should be just fine.
If you have questions about the legality of any kind of behavior, speak with a real lawyer. Laws vary from state to state, county to county, and city to city. The only way to know for sure that you're in the clear is to speak with a licensed lawyer in your area.
Have fun, be safe, and go have some great sex!