Your Ultimate Hookup Handbook
So, now you know where to find sex, the big question is - how do you use them to get laid? Well, the good news is that with hookup sites like ours and the ones listed above, most users already know exactly what they're in for when they sign up. That means you don't have to beat around the bush when it comes to making your intentions clear.
But even so, it's still best to learn a few tricks to maximize your available hookups. It's not super difficult stuff either, all it takes is a few small changes and you'll find your inbox overflowing with messages from potential new fuck partners. That's why we've put together this useful handbook to help get laid tonight.
Maximizing Your Matches
Be sure to follow all of these tips to ensure your success, no matter which dating app you choose.
Rule #1 Fill Out Your Profile
The first step to getting laid is always the most important. Do this part right and you'll set the tone for things to come. And the first step in the hookup process is to ensure that your dating profile is as complete as it can be. That means all your basic information, a few revealing lines about yourself and something that shows you have a personality.
Sure, some women don't care who they hook up with as long as they have a working cock. However, some ladies like to know the guy on the other side of the screen has a brain in their skulls. Plus, smart is the new sexy for a lot of women, so you can easily increase your chances of getting matches by showing off a little about yourself in your bio.
Rule #2: Upload Your Best Pictures
No, you don't have to be a shredded sex god to look good in your pictures. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, you can still get just as much success as anyone else providing you're smart about your photo choice. Even if you're old, fat and bald, it doesn't matter providing your pictures hint at a personality beneath the surface.
Most importantly is to select photos that show what you really look like. There's no point hiding behind fancy angles or Photoshopped edits because she'll just run a mile when she sees the real you. Instead, choose pics that show you A) doing things and B) dressed well. These two little elements will combine to make you a very appealing package.
Rule #3: Swipe Right... A Lot
Hooking up is a numbers game. If you hold out for one girl in particular, chances are you're not gonna get much sex. But if you continually say yes to the opportunities coming your way, you'll be amazed at what might happen. So in order to create these opportunities, you need to keep on swiping right, even on women who aren't perfect tens.
It doesn't mean you're lowering your standards, it just means you're taking what's on offer. There might not be flawless stunners available every night of the week, so sometimes it's alright to scale things back a little. Unless of course you're very choosy about who you nail, in which case you might have to hold out a week or so until you find someone suitable.
Rule #4: Keep An Open Mind
How do you know you don't like something if you've never tried it? This statement extends to everything in life, from food to physical pursuits to sexual adventures. It also goes hand in hand with the point above. The more of an open mind you have when using Hookup or any similar dating platform, the more fulfilling sexual experiences will come your way.
Maybe you've never even considered a threesome before. Maybe the idea of swinging makes you gag. Maybe you've only ever screwed young chicks, and the thought of sleeping with an older woman is alien to you. But really, hookup apps like ours make new sexual adventures not only possible, but easy to find, and there's nothing better than pushing your own sexual boundaries.
Meeting Up In Person
Now that you've matched with someone and arranged a date, keep these tips in mind before you meet up.
Rule #1: Look Your Best
This one should go without saying. When you’ve arranged to meet up with your possible new fuck partner, you need to make a little effort to look your best. After all, it’s not a sure thing until you’re balls deep, so take every step to make sure you don’t fall down at the last hurdle. If you do, you’ll be kicking yourself.
So, be sure to put your best clothes on. Groom your hair, trim your beard. Hell, even trim down below if it’s looking a bit bushy. The more effort you put into your appearance, the more likely she’ll actually sleep with you. You don’t have to wear Armani suits or thousand-dollar Rolexes to impress her, just show that you’ve made a little effort for your meet up.
Rule #2: Personal Hygeine Is Important
This goes for all aspects of life, but it’s equally important when it comes to fucking someone new. Before you meet up, ensure that you’ve scrubbed yourself clean as a whistle. It’s very easier for sweat to build up in the pits and crotch areas within a few hours, so shower right before you leave the house. Without sounding too gross, remember to clean under your foreskin too.
Next up is deodorant and cologne. Before you leave the house, put deodorant under your pits and across your chest. Then apply a tiny bit of cologne to your neck. Don’t over do it, because too much cologne is a very real (and sometimes off-putting thing). Lastly, brush your teeth (and your tongue, because scents can linger on the tongue).
Rule #3: Pack Your Bags
We don’t mean overnight bags, we mean take the kind of belongings you’ll need for an impulsive hookup. Believe it or not, it contains more than just your genitals. Before you leave the house, pick up a few choice things, and if you don’t have them, stop by the store on the way to your fuck friend’s house. We don’t need to tell you the kind of things that could help you.
Condoms (safe sex is a must), lubricant, gum, and maybe a hair tie (there’s never one around when she’s about to go down on you). Oh, and don’t rely on that old condom in your wallet. If it’s been in there a while, chances are it will have gone out of date, not to mention the heat from being constricted will have decreased its strength. Throw it out and get a new pack.
Rule #4: Don't Be Pushy
When you meet up, you might be tempted to get right down to business. Of course, plenty of women will want to do exactly that, and if they initiate it, then go for broke. However, don’t just jump right on her because she might be the kind of person who likes to ease things in first. Plus, consent is a grey area these days, so make sure you’ve got the all clear.
Ideally, let her be the one to initiate the sex. If you want to take things slowly, have a few drinks first. Maybe have some light conversation beforehand. It’s important to both be comfortable in each other’s presences before jumping in to bed. If you’re comfortable around each other, then the sex will be even better.
Now it's finally time to hook up! Here are some tips for the best experience possible.
Rule #1: Don't Get Drunk
Liquid courage is sometimes a necessary evil. However, too much alcohol, especially in the throes of impulsive sex with someone new, can do more harm than good. First of all, getting hammered before laying will lead to a much worse performance. You might think it improves your confidence, but no one ever remembers the downsides of drunk sex.
Secondly, getting pissed can cause consent issues, especially in today’s world. You should both be as sober as possible in order to make rational, informed decisions regarding consent. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a drink or two, just don’t overdo it. Where possible, keep it to two drinks maximum.
Rule #2: Ask Her What Feels Good
The most important element of sex is communication. If you both know what the person likes and dislikes, then you’ve basically got the cheat code to their absolute pleasure. And the easiest way to uncover what she likes? Just ask her while you’re in the throes of passion. Sure, you can gauge her satisfaction via body language, but open communication is equally as sexy.
If she’s arching her back or moaning loudly, chances are you’re already hitting the spot. If she’s jerking away or clenching her teeth, you’re probably doing something wrong. Either way, just ask her what feels good and she’ll most likely tell you. If you don’t ask, you won’t know. Likewise, be sure to tell her if she’s pushing your buttons correctly too.
Rule #3: Don't Be (Too) Rough
Yeah, some women like rough sex, but that doesn’t mean you should jump right in like you see in stepmom pornos. This is another grey area that you need to tread carefully around, because some women might construe your overtly rough sex as sexual assault. Therefore, you need to test the waters VERY lightly before going full fifty shades.
Pull her hair just a little. Lightly dig your nails into her skin. Just do it very briefly, and if she likes it, she’ll be sure to tell you (either verbally or through moans of pleasure). If she gives you the all clear, then feel free to go for it. But again, if this is the first time you’re hooking up, it’s best to keep things on the lighter side until you’re fully comfortable with each other.
Rule #4: Don't Try Any Crazy Positions
Sure, it can be tempting to go full Karma Sutra. You might have wanted to try out a few crazy sex positions for a while but been hindered by the single life. However, if you start bending and twisting like a contortionist during your first few hook ups, then chances are you’ve gone wrong somewhere. During your first few sex sessions, keep things simple (think missionary, doggy, cowgirl).
The reason? She might not be as willing to go full acrobat like you are, and thus you’ll risk future hookup opportunities. Once you’ve got a few sessions in the bag, then you can start getting a little freaky in the bedroom. And of course, be sure to ask her if it’s okay first. Don’t just start contorting your bodies together without her knowledge.